I believe that the quality of our lives is in direct proportion to the quality of how we talk to ourselves and others. And part of my job as a motivational speaker is to help people recognize when something they are saying isn’t very effective, and give them a better way of saying it. And here’s one you’ve probably either heard – or said yourself:
“You can’t possibly expect me to_______.” You fill in the blank.
- Stay late
- Do the dishes
- Give you money
- Do your work and mine
See, here’s the deal. That person COULD expect it – by virtue of the fact that they asked you for it. There is no rule about what someone can or cannot expect. Their request (however unreasonable you think it is) is merely a request – nothing more. And once they make that request, then you have the option of accepting or declining it.
The next time someone makes what you consider to be an unreasonable request, simply take a deep breath, and think to yourself, “Okay. She is asking for what she wants. I can accept or decline.” Then simply say, in a neutral, relaxed manner, “I decline,” or simply, “No.”
When you do it this way, without the offensive, defensive, aggravated tone that usually exacerbates these kinds of situations – you are putting yourself in the control seat and increasing the odds that you will create a better outcome.
